Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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