That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
