i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
