Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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