I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
