and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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