Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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