I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
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