well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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