Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
