dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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