Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
