Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
