So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She's the barista slut.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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