At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
