if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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