Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
