i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
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