It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
