Whats the glycemic index on semen?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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