why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
