my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
