they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
