She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
