i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
