I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You're a waste of cheezeits
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
