i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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