called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
