He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
