She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
