Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
