first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
this is an emotional support booty call
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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