Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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