fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
