I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
