it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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