I wanna passion pit in your ass
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
