and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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