I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
