Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
