is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
