At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm getting married
To pizza
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
