so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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