I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
