he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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