Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
as a side note pls kill me
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
