sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
