Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
