Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
