Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
